Are you ready for some football?

In honor of the kickoff of the pigskin season, I present you with the all-time Presidential football team.

OFFENSE

Quarterback/Punter - Ronald Reagan

This is by far the most important position in the game and it was a very tough choice. I decided to go with Reagan (6-ft-1, 185 pounds), who played collegiality at Eureka College. Though somewhat small for the modern position of QB, Reagan gets the job for his portrayal of George Gipp in the classic 1940 movie, "Knute Rockne, All-American." Of course it was Rockne that invented the forward pass and decided his team needed to "Win one for the Gipper." Gipp played multiple positions at the University of Notre Dame and Reagan is perfect because to be the quarterback you have to look like a movie star.

Running Back - Dwight D. Eisenhower

You have to go with Eisenhower (5-ft-10, 173 pounds) here because he actually played the position at Army and was known on the gridiron as the "Kansas Cyclone." He hurt his knee tackling the legendary Jim Thorpe in 1912. Throw in the fact that he was a major reason why we won World War II and it's easy to see why we like Ike. Eisenhower is one of just two players on the team on both offense and defense.

Fullback - John F. Kennedy

We've all seen countless images of the Kennedy clan playing football at the family compound in Hyannis Port, Massachusetts, so we needed to find a spot for JFK (6-ft-0, 175). Both Reagan and Eisenhower should feel good having the PT-109 captain blocking for them as Kennedy once saved someone's life during WWII by swimming him to safety. Kennedy gripped the guy's lifejacket with his teeth while they swam.

Left tackle and Left guard - William Howard Taft

This is a big task for a big guy, but we decided that Mr. Taft (6-ft-0, 332) could man two positions at the same time. Our country's heaviest President needed a custom-made bathtub built in the White House - he was one large dude.

Center - Gerald Ford

If this team is going to win games it will be because of this guy - the most athletic President in our history. Ford (6-ft-0, 195) was an All-American center at the University of Michigan. He led the Wolverines to the national championship in 1933. See his picture to the right. This is our captain and he was also a linebacker at Michigan, so like Eisenhower, he'll be playing on both sides of the ball.

Right tackle and Right guard - Warren Harding and Grover Cleveland

You've got to have size on the offensive line and these guys will help Ford and Taft protect the quarterback. Harding (6-ft-0, 240) and Cleveland (5-ft-11, 307) round out an impressive group. Harding also holds the title of having the biggest shoe of any President with a size 14.

Tight End - Teddy Roosevelt

I think this Rough Rider will more than hold his own at this important position. Roosevelt (5-ft-10, 200) overcame asthma to box at Harvard and was known to play tennis on the White House front lawn.

Wide Receivers - Barack Obama and George H.W. Bush

You need some guys with sure hands at this position and each one fits the bill. Obama (6-ft-1, 180) led the Occidental College basketball team in scoring in 1979 and is shown above running circles around the First Dog, Bo. Bush (6-ft-2, 195) played first base at Yale and led the school to the College World Series in 1948. Plus, many times during his presidency, quarterback Reagan threw things in Bush's direction.

DEFENSE

Defensive Line - Lyndon Johnson, Bill Clinton, George Washington and Chester Arthur

On the D-Line, you want some guys that can pressure the quarterback and this group will get the job done. Johnson (6-ft-3, 200) and Clinton (6-ft-2, 232) make up the left side of the unit with Washington and Arthur manning the right, both at 6-ft-2, 222. I think Washington can lead the league in sacks as he's been chopping down cherry trees in the off season.

Outside Linebackers - Eisenhower and Ford (see above)

Middle Linebacker - Richard Nixon

In the National Football League, the middle linebacker is wired on the field so coaches can communicate with him whenever needed. Nixon (5-ft-11, 173) brings a lot of wire tapping experience to the table and he played the position at Whittier College.

Secondary - Woodrow Wilson, Jimmy Carter, Franklin Roosevelt and Thomas Jefferson

We've got some speedsters in the secondary who will be all over the opposition's receivers. Wilson (5-ft-11, 170) played center field at Davidson College. Carter (5-ft-9, 160) can run all day as he was on the cross country and baseball teams at Navy. Pre-polio FDR (6-ft-2, 192) ended the Great Depression and Jefferson (6-ft-2) wrote the Declaration of Independence - enough said.

Kicker - James Madison

I'm not sure if Madison had any athletic talent at all, but this position is reserved for little Oompa-Loompas and he fits that bill at just 5-ft-3, 100 pounds.

Coach - Abraham Lincoln

I want our nation's smartest President at the helm and Lincoln is the definition of a leader.

Water Boy - George W. Bush

Do I really need to elaborate?

So there you have it - the all-time Presidential football team. Enjoy the season!

OUT IN THE FIELD (UPDATE)

111 TOTAL NEW DEMOCRATS

18 REPUBLICAN KILLS